29

Nov

Humour

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Today's Edition

New Delhi, 29 November 2023

No cockroach Mukt Universe ever!

Amitabh Srivastava

The most obnoxious, indestructible,

most hated,most unwanted insect in the world,the cockroach had the audacity to walk out on me today.

I had kept a close watch on it for almost two minutes, 3.7 seconds in my kitchen in the morning.

(Yes I was proud of 'my kitchen' even before Corona and the Chef Shows).

So there it was-

Lying on its back without 'shaking' a leg.

Glad to have a chance to dispose of its vile body I picked up the dust-pan and reached out to it.

But it was probably in a Yogic Mudra and simply walked out on me (smiling I guess).

But I clearly remembered I had stomped on it last night.

And that it had been injured and lay motionless.

Was it a ghost I was seeing?

The Chinese had done a research on American cockroaches in 2018 & come out with some startling results:

1.When under stress the females can lay unfertilised eggs that will hatch in a process called parthenogenesis or 'virgin' reproduction.

2.They have strong capability of limb regeneration

3.Most important, they survived forces 900 times their body weight which is why if not squashed totally they have a capacity to regenerate

I am not an expert on China so I don't know why the Chinese are experimenting with American cockroaches, not their own.

There are only two and a half experts on China in India-one, MEA Jaishankar another Subramanian Swamy and half (I didn't say half wit) Rahul Gandhi.

They don't read my well-written columns (their loss), so I want my enlightened  friends to guess what the Chinese intend to do with the American cockroaches.

Click into one of the following options or add their own

A.Turn them into robots to carry heavy machines

B.Fly them into outer space to spy on the county of their origin

C.Use their essence as tonic to turn Xi Jinping life to 1000 years

The winner will be sent to China which is desperately looking for people (Mard) capable of  producing three children with or without marriage.

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